Right now I find myself struggling with some things. Feeling hopeless about a situation, more of not knowing what to do about it. And I've been keeping it to myself for the most part, which has made it almost worse. Because I haven't had a way to let it out, I've let it grow in my mind. I worry, and wonder and just am too afraid to confront the situation. And when I find myself in a situation like this I should go to God and ask him to help me through it, and give me the wisdom to handle it. But to tell you the truth that isn't the first thing on my mind. I wish it was, but no matter how long you have been a christian and how strong your belief in him is, it is often hard to make that the first thing on our mind in a situation. Often we wait till the situation has gotten worse and worse before we finally go to God, and just ask him for help.
In times like that not only do we need God's help above all, but also it can be helpful to have a close friend or a peer to confide in with our struggles in life. Not only that but also someone who can push us, and say “Hey I'm praying for you, and it might be a good idea to pray yourself and turn to God not just me.” Sometimes in our lives it means being the person whom is confided in and being the one to push them. And doing this not only benefits them, it also gives us someone who can push us in our walk with God. I think it is pretty important to have that person there. It is often helpful to just have someone to listen, and be there for us. Just talking and letting out what is bothering us can help us to see what we might have missed when just mulling it over in our brain.
Another thing that I find helpful is to write. For me I've recently found that typing it out helps even more than handwriting it out. It's a way for me to express what is going on in my mind. For me handwriting is tiresome on my hand which kinda keeps me from doing it. Whereas typing allows me to get my thoughts out much quicker. And it's easy in a day and age where technology is so present to just open up a document and start typing. By typing and writing for me, it is another way to let it out. When I am writing I can go from topic to topic and just connect every little thing that is going on in my brain. It's a way to express my feelings and thoughts. And just as talking it out with someone else, it allows me to make connections that I might otherwise miss in just thinking.
I encourage you to take the time and express yourself and your thoughts in your everyday life, take a moment to write or journal, talk with a friend and most importantly talk with God. Find a way that allows you to express your thoughts, feelings, struggles, joys and little bits of life. Encourage someone else in their struggles, listen when a friend needs an ear, push when they need that shove to strengthen their walk. Just be there. That is more important then anything else. Trust me, just knowing that someone cares makes all the difference in the world.
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Feed the Fire
Funny thing, was doing a lot of thinking on my way home from Bible study tonight and as I sit here now I am halfheartedly recalling things that were so strong only an hour ago. Weird how that works. I'm home for the holidays and doing a lot of thinking. Between church on Sunday and Bible study tonight I feel like God is poking me, and saying "psst Kelli, did you forget about me? I have things planned for you. poke poke nudge, time to put more wood on your fire."
Over the course of the summer, especially towards the end of it, I had this fire going in my heart, this desire to learn and I was just in such awe of God it was amazing. I started out tossing that wood on it by reading and just going to Bible study and learning. But as I went away to school, I would forget to feed the fire, still throwing wood on it every other day or so, but slowly that fire began to fizzle out. Now its there but its become a flame or two, not near the fire it had grown to before.
And it wasn't even that I was too busy, no I had the time to read and learn. I just slowly let it stop, replacing time I could be spending with God for things like facebook, and playing tetris or Mahjong, things I didn't need to do but did to pass time. I also began watching more tv, partially cause one of my roommates enjoyed watching tv a lot more than I. But I didn't complain, I started one series after another because I could. I had the time why not. While watching television or doing stuff on the computer isn't always bad, spending all my time on them is not good.
I'm taking this time off from school, to try and refocus. I want to open that door, and say "Hey God, so I felt you poking me, and heard you talking and well I'm done ignoring you I'm ready to put some more wood on that fire and learn and spend time with you again. Thanks for being patient and waiting for me to realize this all, you truly are awesome and amazing. I want to feel that awe and desire for you again"
Not only do I want to be learning and reading, something that is coming across in the bible study by school I have been attending but also the one back home is that I need to not only know and learn but also to do. I need to be out there showing that I am God's daughter, and helping those around me. This could be anything from saying hi to the kid who gets ignored or is a loner to asking my friends if they want me to pray for them or even helping out someone who needs someone to talk to. The key is finding the little things, because these often get overlooked. We feel like we need to do something big, to give up everything and move to some other country in order to help out. But in fact there are so many little things and more mundane things that need to be done. This isn't to say that those who do give it all up and move far away to witness and teach aren't doing something awesome.
Its realizing what God is calling you to do. Realizing that your work or school is a place to witness. Realizing that actions often speak louder than any words, that by being kind, generous, patient and compassionate will get us noticed and that we don't always have to witness by telling them about God. But it could be simply our attitude towards things, inviting them over for dinner or out for coffee, listening when they need an ear, comforting in times of trouble, giving them a ride. Its truly the little things that count. Just do, even if it may seem small you never know how much those little things matter. And do it with a positive and cheerful attitude. Just walking into work with a smile can make all the difference.
God is truly awesome, I started this with the feeling of well I want to write but I have no clue what I want to say. Why couldn't I have written this in the car while driving home, I had it all in my head then. But as I started to write God just gave me the words to say and I put my fingers to the keys and they just came in a easy flow. God knows what he is doing, and for that I am forever grateful. Thank you God, as Thanksgiving comes I remember how awesome and wonderful you are and help me to keep this gratefulness and thankfulness year round, each and every day and moment. Thank you! <3
Over the course of the summer, especially towards the end of it, I had this fire going in my heart, this desire to learn and I was just in such awe of God it was amazing. I started out tossing that wood on it by reading and just going to Bible study and learning. But as I went away to school, I would forget to feed the fire, still throwing wood on it every other day or so, but slowly that fire began to fizzle out. Now its there but its become a flame or two, not near the fire it had grown to before.
And it wasn't even that I was too busy, no I had the time to read and learn. I just slowly let it stop, replacing time I could be spending with God for things like facebook, and playing tetris or Mahjong, things I didn't need to do but did to pass time. I also began watching more tv, partially cause one of my roommates enjoyed watching tv a lot more than I. But I didn't complain, I started one series after another because I could. I had the time why not. While watching television or doing stuff on the computer isn't always bad, spending all my time on them is not good.
I'm taking this time off from school, to try and refocus. I want to open that door, and say "Hey God, so I felt you poking me, and heard you talking and well I'm done ignoring you I'm ready to put some more wood on that fire and learn and spend time with you again. Thanks for being patient and waiting for me to realize this all, you truly are awesome and amazing. I want to feel that awe and desire for you again"
Not only do I want to be learning and reading, something that is coming across in the bible study by school I have been attending but also the one back home is that I need to not only know and learn but also to do. I need to be out there showing that I am God's daughter, and helping those around me. This could be anything from saying hi to the kid who gets ignored or is a loner to asking my friends if they want me to pray for them or even helping out someone who needs someone to talk to. The key is finding the little things, because these often get overlooked. We feel like we need to do something big, to give up everything and move to some other country in order to help out. But in fact there are so many little things and more mundane things that need to be done. This isn't to say that those who do give it all up and move far away to witness and teach aren't doing something awesome.
Its realizing what God is calling you to do. Realizing that your work or school is a place to witness. Realizing that actions often speak louder than any words, that by being kind, generous, patient and compassionate will get us noticed and that we don't always have to witness by telling them about God. But it could be simply our attitude towards things, inviting them over for dinner or out for coffee, listening when they need an ear, comforting in times of trouble, giving them a ride. Its truly the little things that count. Just do, even if it may seem small you never know how much those little things matter. And do it with a positive and cheerful attitude. Just walking into work with a smile can make all the difference.
God is truly awesome, I started this with the feeling of well I want to write but I have no clue what I want to say. Why couldn't I have written this in the car while driving home, I had it all in my head then. But as I started to write God just gave me the words to say and I put my fingers to the keys and they just came in a easy flow. God knows what he is doing, and for that I am forever grateful. Thank you God, as Thanksgiving comes I remember how awesome and wonderful you are and help me to keep this gratefulness and thankfulness year round, each and every day and moment. Thank you! <3
Monday, October 18, 2010
Letting my story unfold in God's timing
A lot has gone on that has truly made me think recently. It's funny how God has taken things that have made me feel so many different emotions – sadness, frustration, satisfied, wonder, confident, cautious – and used these to teach me so many things.
A conversation with a good friend of mine, made me realize that even though I've told myself that I'm okay with being single that I'm still focusing on the idea of being in a relationship without even realizing it. It made me realize that right now God seems to want me to focus on him and my relationship with Him, not worrying about being in a relationship with a guy. I keep hearing this tug and a voice saying if you hand over the keys of your life, the pen from which your story is being written that He will show me the guy I'm meant to be with when the time is right. But first I need to do more than loosen my hold on those keys or pen, I need to completely let go of it. That's where the satisfied, happy, and full of wonder part comes in.
Yet at the same time I'm sad, frustrated, and feeling more cautious than I might have felt a month ago. I seem to have gotten stuck in the same spot again. How do I do this to myself? Every time I think I've found a great guy, its the same thing. Without going into details I got stuck in this spot where I am feeling these feelings again, feelings of sadness and frustration. It still stings a little bit every time. Which leads to the more cautious part as I am more afraid of falling to that spot again.
And that is why as I'm feeling like this that I take a moment to take a deep breath and ask God to change my heart. I ask him to remind me that he has a plan that is far greater than I could ever imagine. And that's when I hear him ask me to give him the control, and focus on him and his word. So I am going to remind myself to take a moment every day to ask him this.
As I go back to the beginning of this blog post, I see that even though it might hurt or be confusing, that God is taking these feelings to show me just how much I need him and to help keep me from straying off the path. I trust that he knows where I am going better than myself but at the same time I am afraid to completely relinquish control over my life. I am still learning trust, and patience each and every day.
On a side note I'm going to end with some lyrics to a song that I am listening to right this second.
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
A conversation with a good friend of mine, made me realize that even though I've told myself that I'm okay with being single that I'm still focusing on the idea of being in a relationship without even realizing it. It made me realize that right now God seems to want me to focus on him and my relationship with Him, not worrying about being in a relationship with a guy. I keep hearing this tug and a voice saying if you hand over the keys of your life, the pen from which your story is being written that He will show me the guy I'm meant to be with when the time is right. But first I need to do more than loosen my hold on those keys or pen, I need to completely let go of it. That's where the satisfied, happy, and full of wonder part comes in.
Yet at the same time I'm sad, frustrated, and feeling more cautious than I might have felt a month ago. I seem to have gotten stuck in the same spot again. How do I do this to myself? Every time I think I've found a great guy, its the same thing. Without going into details I got stuck in this spot where I am feeling these feelings again, feelings of sadness and frustration. It still stings a little bit every time. Which leads to the more cautious part as I am more afraid of falling to that spot again.
And that is why as I'm feeling like this that I take a moment to take a deep breath and ask God to change my heart. I ask him to remind me that he has a plan that is far greater than I could ever imagine. And that's when I hear him ask me to give him the control, and focus on him and his word. So I am going to remind myself to take a moment every day to ask him this.
As I go back to the beginning of this blog post, I see that even though it might hurt or be confusing, that God is taking these feelings to show me just how much I need him and to help keep me from straying off the path. I trust that he knows where I am going better than myself but at the same time I am afraid to completely relinquish control over my life. I am still learning trust, and patience each and every day.
On a side note I'm going to end with some lyrics to a song that I am listening to right this second.
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Monday, October 4, 2010
Learning to replace the fear in our lives
I don't know what scares you..but I do know that God has a plan, and sometimes we just need to trust him. He knows why he puts us in the places he does, though its not always clear why he does it. Sometimes we have to just trust and put our faith in him. We often remember only the examples of what can go wrong and forgot about what can go right. So take that leap of faith and remember that he is holding your hand all the way. He never lets us go, and is always there no matter what we are going through. Don't let your fears keep you from living your lives, let your faith and trust in one who is far greater than us open up your life to you. With him nothing can stop us, for his love is far greater than any love we can even imagine. So if you find yourself trying to take a detour around something in your life, forget the detour – take a leap of faith!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
My God is truly amazing beyond words
My God has shown just how amazing he is to me this week! It's been a new thing for me to move away from home and my group of christian friends. Especially while I am at college is when I need support as I enter a new phase of my life.
I've been praying about a few things, the first is that I could find a bible study or church to go to while at school. The second was that I would be able to find a way to go to Passion 2011, which is basically a multi-day conference with worship, prayer and messages. It's a chance to gather with thousands of other college students in worship, and prayer. Wow, the idea is just amazing!
Anyways the other day God answered both those prayers within hours of each other. And in such amazing ways that I can't stop being amazed at it all, all day I was in shock at how it all happened.
First I had tuned in online to Passion Live Link earlier this week and posted a picture of me tuning in. Went to bed wishing even more that I could attend the Passion 2011 conference, but realizing that I probably wouldn't be able to go due to not having the money. Woke up the next morning and went online, only to be shocked and amazed when I found out that I had won a chance to register for free! This was truly an answer to a prayer, because it helped a lot with the money side of it all. I just couldn't believe my eyes, I was chosen - one of fifteen- to register for free.
My day only proceeded to get better a few hours later, when after looking at other people's pictures from Live Link. I stumbled across a girl who mentioned a bible study in the same state as me. I commented on the off chance it was in the same city as me. Only to moments later get not one but two messages - one from the girl, and another from the leader of the group, saying that it was indeed in the same city as me! What are the odds that I would come across this!
My God is Awesome!!! He brought the answers to two prayer requests in a marvelous way!!
Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
I love my God, more than I can ever describe, for he is the answers to my prayers each and every day. <3 <3 <3 <3 - GypsyGirl
I've been praying about a few things, the first is that I could find a bible study or church to go to while at school. The second was that I would be able to find a way to go to Passion 2011, which is basically a multi-day conference with worship, prayer and messages. It's a chance to gather with thousands of other college students in worship, and prayer. Wow, the idea is just amazing!
Anyways the other day God answered both those prayers within hours of each other. And in such amazing ways that I can't stop being amazed at it all, all day I was in shock at how it all happened.
First I had tuned in online to Passion Live Link earlier this week and posted a picture of me tuning in. Went to bed wishing even more that I could attend the Passion 2011 conference, but realizing that I probably wouldn't be able to go due to not having the money. Woke up the next morning and went online, only to be shocked and amazed when I found out that I had won a chance to register for free! This was truly an answer to a prayer, because it helped a lot with the money side of it all. I just couldn't believe my eyes, I was chosen - one of fifteen- to register for free.
My day only proceeded to get better a few hours later, when after looking at other people's pictures from Live Link. I stumbled across a girl who mentioned a bible study in the same state as me. I commented on the off chance it was in the same city as me. Only to moments later get not one but two messages - one from the girl, and another from the leader of the group, saying that it was indeed in the same city as me! What are the odds that I would come across this!
My God is Awesome!!! He brought the answers to two prayer requests in a marvelous way!!
Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You
CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Into the darkness you shining
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
BRIDGE
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?
I love my God, more than I can ever describe, for he is the answers to my prayers each and every day. <3 <3 <3 <3 - GypsyGirl
Friday, September 10, 2010
Influences
One thing that stays on my mind as I begin this college experience away from home, is how to be good christian influence among non christians. Learning to be a good influence without being influenced in a bad direction. Basically how to be in the world but not of the world. It's going to be hard, but I'm determined to stand strong.
I think that my best bet is to limit the time I hang out with people who might influence me in a bad way. And to make the most of the time I do spend with them. It makes me think of a quote I've heard, it goes like this -
Watch your thoughts, they become words
Watch your words, they become actions
Watch your actions, they become habits
Watch your habits, they become your character
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny
It's so true, and this is why we must be careful who we hang out with. Who we are around influences our thoughts which in turn influences your words etc. This is why it is important to have fellowship time with other Christians that can help encourage us.
Wish I had more to say, but it's late and I'm tired.
I've been working my way through Psalms so I will end with a verse I read the other day.
Psalms 59:16-17
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning of your love;
for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble
O my Strength, I sing praise to you;
you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God
Goodnight World!!
I think that my best bet is to limit the time I hang out with people who might influence me in a bad way. And to make the most of the time I do spend with them. It makes me think of a quote I've heard, it goes like this -
Watch your thoughts, they become words
Watch your words, they become actions
Watch your actions, they become habits
Watch your habits, they become your character
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny
It's so true, and this is why we must be careful who we hang out with. Who we are around influences our thoughts which in turn influences your words etc. This is why it is important to have fellowship time with other Christians that can help encourage us.
Wish I had more to say, but it's late and I'm tired.
I've been working my way through Psalms so I will end with a verse I read the other day.
Psalms 59:16-17
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning of your love;
for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble
O my Strength, I sing praise to you;
you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God
Goodnight World!!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Blink
Teach me to number my days
And count every moment
Before it all slips away
Take in all the colors
Before they fade to grey
-Blink by Revive
Currently one of my favorite songs to listen to, and it is so true. Things are changing in my life and the world around me and it happens so fast. I've been hit by this bittersweet feeling as I head on to a new chapter in my life. I'm leaving for school. Although I'm excited by the adventures that await me, I am also sad, and scared to leave all that I know behind. It's made me realize that I need to appreciate every moment that I live and not take anything for granted.
During a conversation with a friend, we were talking about stopping and taking notice of things around us. This made me realize just how many people just rush through life, trying to get to the next thing that is happening never taking the time to enjoy what is happening now. How many times do you count down the minutes, days, weeks or even months for that event that is going to happen? How many days do we waste waiting for those future moments, ignoring everything else that is happening?
I confess that I fall prey to that myself, right now I am counting down the days until a weekend later next month. I've been counting the days until I leave for school. I'm counting down the months till something in the spring. It's okay to look forward to things but at the same time we shouldn't forget what is going on around us. Make sure to take a moment to appreciate what God has given us, and to enjoy the glory of his creation. For me I love the beauty of the clouds in the sky, especially in the evening as the sun is setting. My favorite times spent with friends are the ones were I cherish every moment I have with them.
Because our lives are so fragile, we never know when they might end or how long we really have. What if you spent your days waiting for something in the future that you didn't live to see? Would it have been worth it to miss out on those moments just to never see the one you were waiting for? So next time you are in a rush to get to work or wherever it is you are going – stop, take a deep breath and enjoy the beauty that surrounds you. God created this marvelous world around you, and he also created some really talented beauty. So take a moment and not only enjoy his creation, but enjoy the works that came from the talents that he gave the people around you.
And count every moment
Before it all slips away
Take in all the colors
Before they fade to grey
-Blink by Revive
Currently one of my favorite songs to listen to, and it is so true. Things are changing in my life and the world around me and it happens so fast. I've been hit by this bittersweet feeling as I head on to a new chapter in my life. I'm leaving for school. Although I'm excited by the adventures that await me, I am also sad, and scared to leave all that I know behind. It's made me realize that I need to appreciate every moment that I live and not take anything for granted.
During a conversation with a friend, we were talking about stopping and taking notice of things around us. This made me realize just how many people just rush through life, trying to get to the next thing that is happening never taking the time to enjoy what is happening now. How many times do you count down the minutes, days, weeks or even months for that event that is going to happen? How many days do we waste waiting for those future moments, ignoring everything else that is happening?
I confess that I fall prey to that myself, right now I am counting down the days until a weekend later next month. I've been counting the days until I leave for school. I'm counting down the months till something in the spring. It's okay to look forward to things but at the same time we shouldn't forget what is going on around us. Make sure to take a moment to appreciate what God has given us, and to enjoy the glory of his creation. For me I love the beauty of the clouds in the sky, especially in the evening as the sun is setting. My favorite times spent with friends are the ones were I cherish every moment I have with them.
Because our lives are so fragile, we never know when they might end or how long we really have. What if you spent your days waiting for something in the future that you didn't live to see? Would it have been worth it to miss out on those moments just to never see the one you were waiting for? So next time you are in a rush to get to work or wherever it is you are going – stop, take a deep breath and enjoy the beauty that surrounds you. God created this marvelous world around you, and he also created some really talented beauty. So take a moment and not only enjoy his creation, but enjoy the works that came from the talents that he gave the people around you.
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